Saturday, 7 April 2012

Do you see shadows or the sunshine?

I met a woman yesterday, and ex-nursing colleague who I haven't seen since 1993. I was genuinely pleased to see her, she's aged amazingly well - in her 60's when I worked with her back then and still as sprightly and bright as I remember her.
1993 was as the Queen would say, my "annus horribilis" the sequence of events went from being assaulted in the street,to moving myself and my two children out of the matrimonial home and away from their father, to losing my mother to cancer, to being abandoned by many & held by a few.
At times I really wasn't sure I'd survive, as the turmoil and depth of sadness I felt at that time was all consuming. My 2 daughters, 5 years old and 3 1/2 years old were my focus, they held my heart and stopped me from running, and running, and running, and running.
Yesterdays meeting was fascinating, and I was enjoying chatting until 5 words fell from her mouth which made me baulk. It was a stark reminder, that for some at least the whispering campaign against me has left a shadow that in some circles follows me yet.
At home last night I shed some tears as I thought about that 24 year old beginning 1993 in such cold isolation. Counting my blessings, I reminded myself that I did make some mistakes. I learned and I grew.
Bringing myself back to NOW and not allowing my headmind to take me back there and leave me staring at a time that is simply too painful, I was reminded of the strength and love of the friends I have in my life! Hallelujah to each and every one of you! Especially those from '93 who didn't fan the flames and reduce me to cinders, I will forever be grateful to you.
Before passing judgement, ask yourself how it serves you to condemn another? Being kind doesn't make us a door mat or a walk over, it means we have a heart large enough to forgive and accept that to be human means to have faults.
"We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation." - Paulo Coehlo
"Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven." - Luke 6:37

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