Friday, 27 February 2015

The importance of movement.

Sometimes I forget to look up and remind myself that all is well.
So pre-occupied and busy with work related emails and concerns about my family, I get too involved with my head and ignore my body's needs to get outside and just breathe!
To feel so separate from myself and separate from the world can be catastrophic - a catastrophe caused by my own inability to stay right here, present in this moment now. I must learn to stay attached to my body and mind, not ignoring the importance of the flow between them both!
When I feel myself drifting up and up further into my head and even more distant from my body - my emotional centre - then I know I must take back control and move.
Sometimes the move is simply walking into the kitchen and making some vegetable soup, sometimes it feels right to make a bigger move and get out for a walk, a run or a bike ride - away from the house and away from anyone being able to contact me.
At times it can feel like it's an inescapable fact that I can never truly be alone - except when I'm out in the garden or out in nature.  And yet, it's when I'm outside that I stop and truly listen for the activity surrounding me and I find myself looking up in awe at the company I have.
The busier the birdsong, with the blackbirds, the tits, the robins, chaffinches and yellow hammers surrounding me in the garden the happier I am.
I had a buzzard accompany me on part of my bike ride recently, a union between two species I'd not expected.  I pedalled effortlessly through the crisp, clean air watching as his legs hung down, his upper body moving with a strength I knew I could never comprehend,
"I see why you love your life!" I whispered to my feathery companion.
Just a short time away from all things electronic and I feel my head clearing, my passion returning and I can rest assured all will be well.
Back in my house again, kettle on, I hear the first, "ping" of an email hitting my inbox....that's fine! My head is clear again, my body feels good too.  I want to sit down with my cup of tea and get on with helping others help themselves - just as I have to help myself.  I gently remind myself not to let things build up again, you know the signs Kathleen!  Feel what you feel and take action according to those feelings; and that message is relevant to each and every one of us!
"To keep the body in good health is a duty..otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear." - Buddha

Saturday, 31 January 2015

Me, myself and the sensible one.

The swooshing and rushing sound of the wind rattling through the gaps in the tiles, woke me with a start.  In that startled state I notice the rushing speed of my thoughts and the loudness and urgency of the questions,

"Where am I?"
"What was that noise?!"

Then comes the reassurance....

"You're on Islay."
"It was the wind."
"There's nothing to worry about."
"Go back to sleep."

That cyclical conversation with myself is just a snippet of something that happens all the time. That sensible, invisible person quietly providing comfort and solace to the anxious child.  Both the adult and the child reside in my head, both vie for my attention, it takes patience to settle the anxious child and when I do, all is well.

I don't want to get rid of her though...she loves to laugh, do cartwheels, run like she ran when she was playing tig in the playground and has a freedom about her that the adult would surely scoff at.

To keep my body and mind together I must embrace both aspects of who I am.

The sensible adult provides a level- headedness that ensures I can help the clients I work with, while the child invariably injects a bit of humour into the sessions.  Don't shy away from any aspect of yourself that makes you your wonderful unique self.

"Be happy with being you.  Love your flaws. Own your quirks.  And know that you are just as perfect as anyone else, exactly as you are." - Ariana Grande

Tuesday, 23 December 2014

Friendship, creativity and serenity.

On Sunday I got home at nearly midnight after a long day, a flight and a two hour car trip to find this gift waiting in my garage. It was interesting to notice how quickly my fatigue and grumpiness lifted when I tore through the packaging to find this pleasingly tactile creation!
A beautiful hand turned wooden bowl, lovingly made by my friend David Kuegler, accompanied by a spoon made by his friend and Greenwood Craftsman, Steve Tomlin.
I was truly moved by the thoughtfulness behind my gift from David.  The HM (headmind) BM (bodymind) lettering on the spoon is very apt indeed.  That flow between both parts of us is absolutely essential while we eat, but also while we make the food we want to eat, and how David, Steve and any craftsman or creative person should be in order to be in that wonderful aligned place where anything is possible.
We must be careful not to slag off the headmind too much, without it where would we be?!  What I love is knowing I can rely on my headmind to "come up with the goods" providing I keep my feet on the ground, feel what feels right and use my head to put those feelings into action.  When I write I choose carefully the music I want to listen to, based purely on the way I feel. There's minimal headmind involvement in the making of that decision. I sit for a moment and breathe deeply into my tummy, and then I pay attention to whatever comes up from my intuitive bodymind into my headmind and start putting those feelings and thoughts down into my blog, newsletter or other piece of writing.
So, whether you're eating your food, walking in nature, creating something wonderful or simply sitting chatting with your family - be present and be fully there. Being peacefully aware of this moment right now allows your headmind and bodymind to be in its most natural flow.  The beauty of being in that aligned place is that you permeate a serenity the like of which oozes from you and extends to all those you interact with.  What a win win for you and those you care about!
"Every breath we take, every step we make, can be filled with peace, joy and serenity."  - Thich Nhat Hanh

Saturday, 6 December 2014

Listen up! I want to hear your voice!

When you're silenced there is injustice.
The bodymind feels this injustice deeply and will not let you bite your tongue, or swallow your words without responding in some way.
For most, this response comes in the form of symptoms.

Lower back pain.
Brain fog.

Shut your mouth.
Hush now.
Be quiet.
Shut up.

It's not okay, and never will be for you to think that it's safer to keep quiet, or for you to think that what you have to say is irrelevant.
Who is making you believe that your voice, words and thoughts are not worth hearing?

Surround yourself by those you can share with, those who you enjoy listening to and who want to hear what you have to say.

Please don't give your power away to anyone who needs to keep you quiet in order for them to keep control of you.

No matter how many excuses your headmind comes up with - it's not okay.

Your bodymind doesn't want to use symptoms in order to encourage you to pay attention to what's happening, but it will if it sees you "making do" with a situation that isn't healthy for you.

Listen carefully to your symptoms.

How much louder do those symptoms have to get before you take action?

Loving you isn't difficult, and it starts with caring enough about yourself to remove yourself from loveless people.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." - Harvey Fierstein

Monday, 20 October 2014

The importance of change

Nature is an infinite source of inspiration for my writing.  I never take for granted that in this little part of the world the beauty surrounding me serves as my constant muse.
On this morning's drive to Kirriemuir I observed the beech, the oak, the sycamore and the ash trees all perfectly still - yet the forecast warned of impending gales and I wanted to whisper to them an early warning of the severe weather which will, inevitably cause them some damage.
Driving on it reminded me of that stillness that I love so much, that stillness which often whets my desire for more and more of those quiet, peace filled times.  I know just as the trees do that the stillness will pass, and it will return just as the gales will too.
The ebb and flow.
The dying and the new born.
The rain and the sunshine.
Each means more with the knowledge of the other.
We cherish the new born because of the transience of life.
We are thankful for the rain, as the crops need that source just as much as the sustenance provided by the sun.
I appreciate the stillness of the trees, laden with their autumnal leaves just as much as when their branches dance in the wind scattering a carpet of orange, gold and brown across the roads and fields.
I'm grateful for my eyes and their ability to see all that's around me, equally glad as night falls and I can close them while I descend into a dark place where sleep restores me.
Tomorrow my drive to Kirriemuir will look a bit different as the weather front will have scurried over the east of Scotland leaving a battered and bruised landscape in it's wake - and so the ebb and flow continues.
Life and the natural world is richer because of diversity and change, so instead of dreading it enjoy watching the colours and darkness that unfolds effortlessly, unpredictably, uncontrollably around you.
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." - Lao Tzu

Saturday, 9 August 2014

Peace, calm and the passage of time

I was recently reminded of an event several years ago which resulted in my total immersion into sadness and confusion the like of which  I'd never before (or since) experienced.  The dawning of the truth that I had been duped -  tricked into believing something which had in fact been a complete lie.
My mind racing, my heart pounding I couldn't think straight.
The reality of what I'd perceived to be the truth, completely and utterly shattered.
My broken heart felt dark - weirdly heavy - strangely blackened and weighing heavily in my chest - I was unsure how it would ever repair itself, and kept asking myself in crazy whispers, " How did I feel before this revelation?"
Normality felt like a life time ago.
The trees looked different.
Were they sneering at me?
Everything looked weird.
Could nature be fake too?
As I walked I was sure the stony path was laughing at my naivety - silly girl!
As I lay my heavy head and body on the verge, the grass seemed to stroke my brow, perhaps in an attempt to comfort and slow my racing thoughts, my panicked head kept circling round and round, going over and over again and again the details of the event that had unfolded earlier in the day.
How could I speak again?
I needed to speak!
But who could I trust with this?  Who would believe what I so desperately needed to share?
"Breathe", I reminded myself.
"Just keep breathing"
I'm unsure now of the time frame, but I did - over time - start speaking again.  And, the beautiful thing was that all my wonderful  friends I spoke with held me close.
Cried with me.
Held me tight in their thoughts, prayers and physically held me too.
My lovely husband Andrew often feels sad (and a tad confused maybe) when he reads my blogs - asking, "Why do you share that type of story with the world? It's so personal and upsetting!"
And the reason is this:
If just one person out there is reading this and is dealing with devastating news then my hope is that my words help "hold" them and provide some comfort.  I'd hope too that this blog post provides them with some reassurance that the pain they feel right now really will pass.  I know too well that in the depths of it, that can seem like a trite and empty thing to say - but it is true!
"Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us." - David Richo


Friday, 11 July 2014

Finding the quiet place within you.

In the space between the hustle and bustle of life something wonderful can happen.
A sense that all that rushing, planning and fussing was in fact orchestrated by external forces. Society held beliefs that not being "busy" is a sign of failure.  That peaceful core of you - that authentic self, does not want a life led at ninety miles an hour.
Slow down.
Slow down before your body takes away your ability to choose.
Reflecting back on my own years spent as a hedonistic thrill seeker, I feel a wave of sadness as I now see clearly that my attempt to get as far away from myself; my own pain, as possible was completely futile. 
Now, as I watch others, young and old(er) splashing their exuberant, extrovert antics over social media sites I know there's no point in diving into their world in an attempt to save them from themselves. 
It's okay.  
Quietly, and in the space between the busy times, they will get a nudge to slow down, a sign - hopefully a gentle one -  to just be quiet. Only by removing the false chatter, the empty laughter, the noise of being busy, can they start to build a relationship with that quiet place that has been waiting for them.  It doesn't want to be a stranger any more. 
As I sit here now watching a shrub bejewelled with bright yellow flowers dancing effortlessly in the summer breeze, I wonder why we have to try so hard? Society has dictated so much to us, we're left believing we need to be more than our beautiful, perfect selves.
The yellow flowering bush takes nutrition from the soil, the sun and is quenched by the rain.
Providing all those fairly simple needs are met, the plant will grow and flourish into it's beautiful adult self - perfect.
No ego.
No need for it to try to be something else.
Oh nature!  How inspiring you are!
And we are natural too - you are a beautiful, perfect being.
By meeting your physical, emotional and spiritual needs you can, and will, flourish into exactly what you are meant to be.
"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in life has a purpose."  - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
"The best cure for the body is a quiet mind." - Napoleon Bonaparte

Thursday, 12 June 2014

Your walk with your shoes on your feet.

Keep your head down, tow the line and whatever you do, don't raise your head above the parapet! If you live with those phrases rolling around your head, stop for a moment and ask yourself why you're allowing them any air play in your life?
Who is putting those thoughts there?  When did they arrive?  In childhood?  In a relationship?  In school?
You are here and you are entitled, by your very existence, to live your life authentically to fit with your very individual idiosyncrasies. You may not be approved of by some, and guess what?...That's okay!  I'm sure it's true for the majority of people that they'd rather be supported and loved by a few, than loved falsely by the masses.
If you constantly cow down to the needs of others you are doing yourself the very worst dis-service. When I buy second hand shoes I'm always disappointed because they've already assumed the shape of the previous owners feet!  They never truly feel like mine, it just feels like I'm making do with shoddy seconds.
Listen to yourself - listen to your own needs, and do your very best to walk your life; in your shoes; on your path.
"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be." - May Sarton

Friday, 23 May 2014

An unfolding life.

Life is not something to be forced. Let go of the need to direct and control every aspect of your life. Letting go can enable an exquisite unfolding to occur.  Just as the beautiful butterfly emerges from it's chrysalis, gently, softly let your life reveal itself in its own time - as it needs to.
To rip open the chrysalis, demanding the butterfly unveil it's intricate, divine elegance to you right now could damage the fragile filaments that weave, web - like, so exactly through this intriguing creature.
Slow down.
Rest between life's struggles.  Tread carefully and mindfully through your days and trust that, by demanding less, more in fact will fall neatly into place uncovering all that is, and all that will be, your perfect life.
"You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway." - Steve Maraboli

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Dark skies, hidden sun

Yesterday was confusing.
The sun shone and smiled down from a beautifully blue sky, the leaves gently rustled - how perfect!
A few short hours later, as I sat outside, I became aware of a change in the atmosphere. Tilting my head skywards the dark clouds cast a sinister backdrop to the lush green leaves of my silver birch. Rain drops tapped gently on my face, each globule a short, sharp slap in the face,
"Were you getting complacent, Kathleen?!"
Gentle, cold, refreshing, restorative raindrops, reminding me the smiling sun was a transient phase now long gone.
I'd been lulled into believing the whole day would be a dreamy, sunny Tuesday.
An event earlier in the day had left me with intense confusion.
If someone wants to speak with you, sharing what they perceive to be meaningful and important, do the honourable and kind thing - listen.
Don't just listen to the words falling from their mouth, but listen to the heartfelt meaning behind them.
For some people, the opportunity to feel safe enough to speak up can be but a fleeting moment.  Sadly, if the listener misses the point, who knows how long the, "speaker" will fall silent for? When all the conditions are right the speaker speaks and the listener hears.
Just as moisture heavy clouds rise up, climbing over hillsides only then, when they can no longer hold their heavy burdensome load, down and down the rain pours on the valley below, in perfect conditions the speaker shares and the listener, truly hears. How wrong, and damaging would it be for us to shout at the cloud, "STOP! Not now...I'm in the middle of cutting my lawn!"  Rain will come, and rain will go, sun will warm us and the combination enables our crops to grow.
Don't be the thunderous black sky casting a shadow on the transient, but beautiful moment someone feels able to speak up.
None of us can tell when their sun will shine again.
"Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable." - David Ausburger